1 If the Lord had not been on our side—
let Israel say —
2 if the Lord had not been on our side
when people attacked us,
3 they would have swallowed us alive
when their anger flared against us;
4 the flood would have engulfed us,
the torrent would have swept over us,
5 the raging waters
would have swept us away.
6 Praise be to the Lord,
who has not let us be torn by their teeth.
7 We have escaped like a bird
from the fowler’s snare;
the snare has been broken,
and we have escaped.
8 Our help is in the name of the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
Well, sorry I suck. This is literally the first post in like over a month. It’s a good thing you aren’t sitting on the edge of your seat waiting to see what I do next. That would be a terrible way to live.
Real talk, this semester has been hard. I would be lying if I said that there weren’t times that I wish I would have stayed at Baylor for my last semester. The classes are really tough, more so than I expected. The internship has been a handful. I have been working six to seven day work weeks of at least 45 hours plus taking 12 hours of classes. Being the person that I am, literally I just took a personality test, I just work hard without knowing how much is too much. If you give me work, I will get it done. Well, my professor ended up emailing my boss and I got some days off which is beautiful. However, i felt like i let my boss down, and I don’t like that feeling. Anyway, I had to take a lot of personality tests for a class up here and it turned out to be pretty helpful. I was focused on trying to figure out what was I was doing wrong but I was fine. The problems were just rooted in how God made me. There have been other dramatic issues here as well but we aren’t even going to get into that.
Anyway, I have felt like I have a lot of negatives coming at me from one side. I didn’t ask God why or crawl away to a corner, I put my game face on to deal with it. Once again alluding to my personality test, I am exactly like Katniss – always fine, keep to myself and more stubborn than you will ever know. So, tonight I was reading from She Reads Truth
and came across this beautiful nugget of wisdom:
Life happened – sometimes all at once. I didn’t blame God in these trials, but I certainly didn’t thank Him either. I pulled on my bootstraps. Put on a brave face. Relied on myself. Suffered alone. Until like Paul, I was forced to trust God totally. And it turns out that walking through the hard seasons is often the best thing that could ever happen. Because it is there that we find Him. Itie there theater learn that the strength of our bootstraps will fail, but the joy of The Lord won’t. It is there that we learn that we don’t need to put on a brave face, we simply need to seek His. We can pray for each other to get to a point where we trust that we are just seeing a few brush stokes on the gigantic masterpiece He’s painting. Where we don’t fear what’s ahead, because we know it’s already happened in the eyes of our Master Planner. Where we acknowledge that He shares in our sufferings, but He also shares in our comfort. Where we can remember that He’s rescued us before and that He will do it again…as many times as we need rescuing. And for that we say thank you, even when nothing seems peachy keen. Because there is no pit we are in that is deeper than His love.
Boom. Kill shot. My life is for His glory, not my happiness. For His Name and not my own. Krista needed some perspective.
New York has offered some cool experiences though, when I have time to do them. On Valentine’s Day my roommate and I went to THE Madison Square Garden to watch the Rangers … lose in a shoot out. Being in the Garden was insane! I literally started to bounce as I walked when I could see it. Back in Texas at Stars games it feels like a country club. Up here, it’s do or die. Okay, not die but get slugged. This past Wednesday was by far my favorite day in the city. My roommate, my friend and I went to get student rush tickets for Cinderella. After we did that and were walking aimlessly around Times Square, we stopped by the TKTS booth and got rock star seats to Newsies. I LOVED Newsies … although I am daily reminded by the songs stuck in my head that boys are more flexible than me, can hyperextended toe touches and can successfully land cartwheels. So, I have been stretching. Cinderella was really good too. While the shows were stellar the best part of the day was the laughter that came with hanging out with my friends.
And today I was in the studio. It felt great because Seth Davis, Greg Anthony and Doug Gottlieb all gave my high fives for Baylor’s big upset over Kansas. After work, I met up with some people from the Lariat, Baylor’s newspaper that I worked at for two years, because they’re at a conference up here. The advisor of the Lariat have gotten pretty close over the past two years. She has a couch in her office, so I always told her I was coming in for a counselor session. Talking to her was great tonight. She really keeps me accountable, asking me about my relationship with God during my time here. I really appreciate it and admire her for her boldness to speak the Word.
So, as I end this catch-up blog because I’m getting sleepy, I ask you to please pray for me that I will learn to trust God more with my life rather than relying on myself.